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Wishlist - II

[begin crib] 

I want...

1. 
   
   A couple of days to all alone when I can be with myself, pamper myself and just return relaxed and with clear skin
   
   


2. 
   
   Someone to handle administrative details of planning vacations, tickets, trips and such like
   
   


3. 
   
   To not worry about foreign exchange
   
   


4. 
   
   To skip my appraisal at work...
   
   


5. 
   
   To not appear a constant whiner.
   
   

When I think back, I realize that in the last two years, the only real time I spent by myself doing nothing was one day in Bombay.

I just want some time by myself. Aaarrrghhhh!!

[end crib]

Wardrobe Woes

A long time ago, I turned anti-consumerist, anti-clutter and all that sort of thing. And I wrote this: http://merablogpadho.wordpress.com/2007/02/10/the-happiness-sale/

Then, a few months later, as the proud owner of a clean wardrobe, I wrote this: http://merablogpadho.wordpress.com/2007/05/19/girlie-gyan/

Now, on the verge of getting married, as a proud owner of a collection of clothes-that-have-last-through-the-ages, I write this...

Before we begin, let me hasten to add that the two posts referred to above are not contradictory. The 'ideal wardrobe' is more about essentials than about numbers. It's about knowing what you want to wear than about actually having more than you need.

This said, let me now talk about the problem at hand...

I am about to get married (those who didn't know this yet please raise your hands!). This in essence means that I shall be under public scrutiny for about three days. So, I have had to shop for saris of all kinds. From ultra heavy jhatka gold to light weight no gold please! This is a collection of about a dozen saris, none of which I shall either wear or carry with me once I move out.

I have a few weeks of vacation after that. This means I need jeans, capris, t-shirts and kurtis and all that sort of thing. All my jeans are now ripped at the hem at last. While I interpret that to mean that they've reached the most respectable phase of their career, my mother views it as an inability to provide her daughter with clothes that are not torn. Add a couple of pairs of jeans to that shopping list then...

The last t-shirt I bought was quite a few months ago. All t-shirts in the wardrobe have either been absorbed into moms collection of dusters or will be by March. Same goes for the kurti's. Add items to shopping cart.

I've had a new job for the last three months, with a new dress code of salwar kameez (formals, actually, but no one around seems to be wearing them). I wear only the cotton, run colour, need starch and hand wash variety. All salwars are worn out, and have not been replenished for a while. I need to spend a couple of weeks playing good bahu, cannot wear jeans. Add low maintenance salwar kameez to the list.

Has a pattern begun to emerge? I believe it has. No woman worth her mascara would admit it, but here I do. I need clothes, but I am in no mood to shop... Why do guys have it so easy?

Quote

The easiest and the hardest thing to believe of friends perhaps is that they will still be around by the time you return from your journey into yet unknown realms of madness...

Reality Meets Illusion

So, he asked...

Main kyon kar raha hun, jo main kar raha hun

I replied...

My take, it's always simpler to keep the context of the illusion in mind but pretend everything is real... That lets you eat a lot of chocoalte and later pass off the prosperous waisline as maya ;-)

It reminds me of a song I sang a long time ago... Raag Shankara, I think it was... (I still haven't figured out how to add hindi to a wordpress post, please excuse)

Sab Praani jan aat jaat hai
Koi Na Samjhe Maaya Bandhan

Quite Profound

Having magic doesn't make anything easier, she said. "If everyone were given a wand ...," she started. (Spotting one fan with a wand, she pointed to him and added as an aside, "You've already got one! I hope that's not trained on me!") "... The world would be strangely similar," she continued. "Because nearly everyone, and not just because you're Harry Potter fans, would want to use it for good, to have fun, to look after their friends and family. But a small number would think, 'What's in it for me?' And that's the dark side of human nature, which remains the same whether you have a wand or not. We'd have exactly the same problems. Cruelty. Bigotry. Oppression. That's what Harry's fighting against. Not magic."

Everyone is Special...

So, I was trying to give this guy some gyan on how to write essays for his B-School applications and I said something rather profound.

I said, stop getting so caught up in making yourself seem special to the person reading your essay that you forget what you're trying to say...

That was all right. But what I said that I'm really proud of was... Everyone is special. But no one really is... So tell them who you are and let them decide whether or not you're good enough for their school.

Sure, there are the exceptionally gifted few. Academically brilliant, can talk the hind leg off a donkey, dance with grace, good on the sports field, play a variety of musical instruments with obscure sounding names and sensitive too. But just how many of them are there? Few enough to allow the word 'exceptional' have a real meaning is my guess.

The majority of us are what I call normal. We all have a few talents, a few priorities, do well at some things, not too well at others and all that sort of thing. Academically brilliant but introverted. Extroverted but foot-in-the-mouth. Talented but not determined or dedicated enough. And so on.

What is important is to realize that there is still something that you and you alone are good at. And nothing can take that away from you.

At the end of it all, when I look at all this SOP writing, higher education and all that jazz, I realize that it's important that you stay true to who you are. It's important to realize that you might not be exceptional, but are probably gifted. And, realize that it's as important that the school fits you as you fit it.

Heard Somewhere...

Future generations will remember that we were the people who communicated mainly through bullets

Memories of 2007 - I

Some of my best memories of 2007 are moments spent with a most wonderful friend. It might make sense to some of you looking at it. Or, it might not. Either way, there are some very nice pictures that you might want to see... :-)

memories.pps

The Chocolate Goddess

Couldn't have said it better myself ;-)

Committed with a K

So, I'm sitting in an auto near the Khairatabad Junction this afternoon. With me are two (male) colleagues. A beggar woman comes to us and starts her usual rant about money and blessings and suddenly says "God will keep your pair happy".

Instead of sounding funny as it usually have, it sounded mildly offensive! I've never been the kind to get overly upset when there is no real reason to. And it was quite shocking that I reacted so violently (I snapped at her saying there's no jodi here for God to keep salamat). Perhaps I was just irritated by her constant begging (very likely) or maybe (shudder) I'm now committed with a K.

What do I mean by committed with a K? I mean committed in the Ekta Kapoor style. Perhaps the next time you see me I shall be wearing a foot long mangalsutra, a maang full of sindoor and my hair in a bun... :P

I'm being excessively dramatic, of course. But "Committed with a K" can feature on the same list as PVC. Quite an insult if you know what it means... ;-)

Academic Overachievers

So... I come from a family where everyone has multiple academic qualifications. Dad has three, my brother has three, bhabhi has two and doesn't seem to want to stop there and Mom is the one I'm proudest of.  Amma went back to study and got a BEd after almost 20 years of being a 'housewife' and went on to teach after that. And now,  I'm marrying into a family of doctors. And The Fiancé will be one too. Though not the medical kind.

And me? Much to the annoyance of many of those listed above, I'm happier working than pursuing academics. I'm happier dabbling in a lot of things than pursuing that "One Passion". And much happier reading, writing, giving gyan and just generally enjoying vast and varied interests.

I just don't have the kind of focus it takes to excel in academics. (I can see a lot of black clouds looming in the horizon now). I hasten to add to that. I am not trying to say I have no focus. Because I do. It's not that I'm satisfied with the mediocre. Because I'm not. But I think I'm just trying to say that I should have understood what I wanted out of life the day I took a music book to IIT coaching class instead of vice-versa.

I get to hear a lot of words thrown at me all the time. Scattered, confused, no direction, no focus, lazy, no sense of priority, no passion and all that sort of thing.

But of late, I have been forced to acknowledge what I am just not sure what I want to do with my life. Every time someone asks me the question, "What do you want to do?" I have given a different answer. Sometimes I say I want to do a PhD (just to see how they'll react), sometimes I say an MBA, sometimes I say I want to become a consultant, sometimes a trainer, sometimes (only half jokingly) a housewife and most of the time, I give the answer that can be most easily laughed away. I say I want to be rich.

But the real answer is, "I Don't Know"

The Shy Bride

The Fiance was full of giggles today, watched as he had the video of the 'engagement' a month after the real thing. Why? Because I spent about ten minutes of the entire ceremony looking at something other than the floor, my bangles and my feet. You Tube worthy he called it.

What are the forces that turn confident, intelligent and smart women into Simpering Savtri's? I list some here...

1. Hoardes of people you don't know staring at you
2. Multiple cameras right in your face
3. A 'costume' you don't recognize yourself in
4. Approving looks from the grown up's
5. Weight of the flowers in your hair
6. Self consciousness at being the centre of attention

And most of all, the finality that this is for real and it's FOREVER.

Living With Psoriasis

It's winter. I'm stressed out. And it's time for the annual skin shedding ritual. I mean skin shedding literally because I live with a disease (fortunately very mild) known as Psoriasis.There are all kinds of gory tales that can be told about it. Most of which can be found here:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psoriasis
http://www.psoriaticdiseases.com/psoriaticdiseases http://www.drbatras.com/html/skin4.asp#psoriasis

Living with a chronic condition is never easy, as many will testify. To know that you're not completely normal or worse still, not completely healthy... It's not easy.

There's an uncertainity to it. You don't know when it will flare and why. You can't be sure whether you'll wake up in the morning and see a new lesion somewhere. If you'll run your hands through your hair you might just find that you're losing hair because the condition has worsened. If you run your nails on your scalp, you might just draw blood.

There's a lot of embarressment attached to Psoriasis. You might go to get a haircut only to hear the beautician suggest her new anti-dandruff treatment. You then have to patiently explain that it's a skin condition but it's not contagious. You might wake up one morning to see the entire pillow covered with flakes. You would probably drape your jacket on your black chair at work because people would otherwise identify your chair as the one with all the white flakes on it.

There are a lot of restrictions. You don't eat things with too much protein, you try to not get stressed, you take medication everyday, you put up with smelly coal tar preparations, you have a propensity to get a lot of other skin infections because immunity is low, you don't wear dark coloured clothes on days when you have a flare because it would look terrible...

It's not easy to admit that you have psoriasis. That's the trouble with most skin ailments, I suppose. We're a society that judges on beauty and but also says that it's shallow to worry about looks all the time which is what a person with Psoriasis technically does all the time. That's probably the worst of all (especially) for a woman.

A person with Psoriasis is usually constantly accused of making too much fuss over nothing (especially if it's mild). People think a skin disease is not the worst thing that could possibly happen, and they're right. What people don't undertsand, however, is that it makes it a lot more difficult for somoene to come out and share what they're feeling on a bad day. It's hard to come out and say to even a close friend that here is something that makes me feel hideous, that is unpredictable and uncomfortable and difficult to live with.

The discomfort is real. The stress is real. The insecurity is real. And the fact that the person needs a little reassurance now and then is real too.

Living with Psoriasis teaches you one thing. It teaches you to empathize with someone elses troubles even if they seem trivial, self inflicted or imaginary to you.

How To Please The Goddess

Pappaji Ka Dhaba

It's been a long time since I went to Abids. Almost three months, I guess, considering it's only WW and I who think a trip to Abids is fun :-)

So three friends from work and I, we went out to lunch and walked almost two kilometres in the afternoon sun to eat some good food. We went to Pappaji Ka Dhaba in Abids. A place where you can see the tandoor churning out rotis before you reach the "family section".

It was a nice afternoon. Good food, friends, conversation, me in a completely giggly mood, pathetic jokes and mind blowing lassi... It was one of those afternoons that you'll carry with you for a long, long time without being able to do justice to it in words...

Friends at work and lazy afternoons are back at last. And better still, I've finally gone back to being eccentric at work and I'm feel like myself at last :-)

ps: ww... you're irreplaceable

 

What I Really Really Need... well, want not need...

Here's a wishlist. I want...

Stuff that cannot be sponsored:

1. Admits from a couple of universities


2. A long and endless conversation with The Fiance


3. A smoother work life


4. To not have to wear bangles

Stuff that can be sponsored (evil grin followed by flirty look):

1. Good dark chocolate


2. A Good Coffee with fun conversation :-)


3.  New look


4. New wardrobe of work clothes that are not as behenji as the salwars I wear everyday


5. New shade of lip gloss


6. A dozen pink carnations (sorry, they were sponsored less than a month ago)


7. A pair of really cool shades (prescription lenses)


8. A backpack that doesn't look like one new mothers carry


9. A shopping spree in Abu Dhabi


10. My phone bills...

Stuff that comes for free but I still can't seem to get:

1. The contact details of a good tailor


2. Time to read a good book

What is all this in aid of? Well, it just might make me forget the pre-wedding jitters that seem to have hit a few months too early...

Lucky Draw

World AIDS Day was on a weekend this time, but it's still AIDS week, so we had a short speech and a pledge with candles today. All very solemn.

And in the middle of this, there was a stall by ICICI Bank where they had a "World AIDS Day Lucky Draw"...

I could probably draw all sorts of atrocious puns out of that. But I was just too depressed. Lucky Draw? Is that what we've reduced HIV/AIDS to now? Perhaps it's a little stupid to expect sensitivity from a Bank of all things. But I'm rather agitated... Some things should just not be commercialized.

Kids

I guess it's kinda old news. But it's something that never ceases to make me indignant. It's kids! How can you make toys toxic?

Only One Sister

That's what they all say to discourage my brother and me from constantly bickering.

Brings me to the very important question, if he had two sisters or I had two brothers, would it be all right to argue then? :P

Only One Sister

That's what they all say to discourage my brother and me from constantly bickering.

Brings me to the very important question, if he had two sisters or I had two brothers, would it be all right to argue then? :P